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Read a review of Karate-do: My Way of Life by Gichin Funakoshi

Martial Arts Movies Totally Rock the House!

By Andrew Allwander (whitedragonawa@yahoo.com)

Martial arts movies totally rock the house! First of all the story DOES NOT MATTER! YOU DON'T WATCH IT FOR THE STORY! YOU WATCH IT FOR THE AWESOME SPECTACULAR FIGHTING! They always have tons of awesome martial arts fighting which is totally sweet and they do awesome techniques! Also they do cool forms and the sound effects are cool! They get you so hyped up you want to go outside and fight people! If you watch one of these movies you will go outside and start kicking everything!! And your friends will be like "What the heck? Dude why did you kick me?" And then you will go to your house and show him why you kicked him by putting in an awesome, totally sweet, narly martial arts movie. After the movie is over your friend will jump up on his feet and start going totally crazy and will kick you and punch at you and you will be like "Dude what the heck? Check out my Dragon Fist!" And he will be like "Oh that is so good, but check out my Karate kicks and Drunken Crab Ninjitsu!" And you will go buck wild and go outside and fight for hours and then go to some other friends and fight them too and the cycle will repeat until everyone of your friends is going crazy for martial arts movies and fighting!!!

Noodles and Chicken and Duck

Also the movies usually always have an awesome Chinese restaurant or tea house where they serve all kinds of awesome Chinese food. LOTS of noodles and rice and chicken and roast duck! Mmmmm! The kung fu guys always pig out and eat tons of delicious looking food and it makes you so hungery you want to eat tons of awesome Chinese food! Also they always drink wine! They are so picky about their wine if it gets wasted or not! After watching that you will get so thirsty and start drinking tons of stuff and then wanting to go fight!

Super Fine Hot Babes

Also almost every movie has a super hot fine babe. They are usually ALWAYS TOTALLY CUTE! You can never go wrong with that. And the even better ones can totally do some awesome kung fu and it is so hot! WOOOOO! Another thing is when people die in the movies the main characters are completely unaffected by it and just sit there and then act tough and fight the bad guys. But sometimes if someone's good friend or father dies they get angry and want revenge. That is also cool. Somtimes the movies have ninjas in them and that is so awesome. Even if the movie is totally stupid the ninjas always are cool. Also some movies have funny dialogue that makes you laugh. Especially when old kung fu guys talk. And the music is so crazy!! It sometimes is so random and it is so funny! Also there is a lot of honor that makes you get so emotional and you want to bring honor to everyone and fight all the time even more and get revenge for no reason!

Realistic Fighting?

If you watch a martial arts movie and you still think you are so tough and you think that is not real fighting. Well ya it isn't a real fight because it is a movie, but you are really stupid if you think the technique wouldn't work. If you watch a cool martial arts movie and you don't get up and go totally nuts then you are lame becuase any normal person would get up and go crazy and try to fight everyone! And if you get up and try to fight everyone you HAVE to use awesome martial arts moves and not be stupid and make fun of martial arts or I will knock on your door and you will answer it and I will be standing there and go nuts on you with my crazy spin kick chaos technique! You should also go and join martial arts and learn how to fight and be awesome!

Rock On

Martial arts movies are the best basically. Lots of Chinese noodles and rice with awesome chicken and rad roast duck and the guys pig out on them with chopsticks, there is totally cute sweet women, there is funny dialogue, there is totally random music, and there is so much fighting and honor. ROCK ON!

 
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